Well November 17th would’ve been Scott’s 59th birthday. I am doing OK I had a moment going through home goods store and hearing Christmas music on Saturday. Scott and I loved to go to home goods and shop around. He likes looking at the different cookies and snacks and hand soaps. He would have a birthday party each year with his mother daughter sister and family We have the party on yesterday and of course I Came. They are small Christian family and his mother has lost all four of her son’s. I can only imagine how she may feel on tomorrow. I called her today and she seem to be very fine . She has a deep sense of spirituality and a strong belief in God. Last year he almost did not go to the party because he did not feel good. We had to really talk him out of bed but after he got there he was glad he went. I know God is ordering my steps now and I am praying each day for direction. We all have an appointed time and we have work to do until that time comes. I have grown much closer to God since Scott’s transition. I want to help others and I pray for relationships often. I stay very busy with school and sometimes I wonder if God is going to move me to do something else. School is really getting to hard.
I gave Scott’s mother a prayer this he had written when he was 11 years old. She had been sick and he prayed that she would not get sick anymore. Today I know that prayer was answered because she is 76 years old and still in good health.
Despite the fact Scott is home with the Lord I am still able to laugh. I spent some time yesterday at church and with a friend that made me laugh all afternoon. That was such a great feeling, when I went to bed I looked around my room and I thanked God for how much he’s favored me. My room was recently painted a light purple color and I changed all my bedding to pure white. When I sleep is like sleeping on a purple cloud I feel so peaceful and content. I seldom make my bed and I keep books and Bibles and devotionals right there for me to grab when I need encouragement.
In summary despite what you’re going through try and look for the silver lining. It may be harder to see on some days than in others but if you look through the eyes of God you can find it.