The Tender Kiss

Today I am reflecting on special moments my husband and I experienced.  I am not feeling sad because I can’t actually feel him within me like I did when he was on the earth. It is like he is in a far  away place. I am grateful to have the memories,  the pictures, and the spiritual notes  in order for me to recapture some of the special moments.  I would like to share one very special moment if I may.

Ever so often Scott would come in the den where I am working on the computer and kiss me on the neck. I never paid close attention to it because I was so busy doing what I was doing on the computer.  He would not stay very long just for a moment to give me some affection.

Now that I think about it now, it was such a sweet, unique and loving thing that he thought enough to stop what he was doing just for a moment to come in to me with a kiss on the neck. Don’t get me wrong I don’t think he should come back here from heaven. He is at so much peace now and so much better off. But if I get an opportunity just to re- live and experience that feeling again from his spirit, that’s good enough for me.


A Shift In Seasons

On July 28, 2015 I experienced a shift in seasons. My husband of 14 years transition to be with the Lord. He was not only my husband but my best friend. Today I reflect on our life together.  The vacations,  the movies,  the trips,  the laughter,and the smiles. This indeed was one of  the most pleasant journeys of my life.

I can remember growing up in a Christian home with a loving family. I did well in school and attended college. During my early adult years,I was married, had children then I experienced  a  shift in seasons when my marriage ended in divorce.

So Far I believe  I have experienced three most memorable seasonal shifts. My birth and up upbringing,  My school days, My failed marriage and the  latest season of loss. As I reflect upon the 57 years I have been on this earth, I am grateful that my good seasons seem to outweigh the bad ones. I am ever grateful even for the difficult seasons  because there were lessons learned through that. I am grateful for the joyful seasons because I learned lessons there also.

Through each season in life there are lessons to be learned –whether it’s  the season you’re on top of the world or the season where you feel loss and sorrow. There is still lessons to be learned.

As I move forward to my new season I am so grateful for this past season. Grateful for the experiences and grateful for the lessons learned. I am beginning to look forward to my next season. I don’t know what that season holds but I do know who holds my hand as I go through that season and that one is God. May God be with you through whatever season you’re experiencing with the knowledge that because we live in this life, our seasons are not permanent. Each season will change. May you be prepared for your season by God and go through the season with God.

My Reflection

Took some time tonight to listen to Scott talk on some recordings I had on my phone. Just remembering the special times that we had and also remembering the struggle he had with his illness. He was always so positive trying to feel better but gradually he got weaker. I just loved caring for him. I loved taking him to the doctor I loved to research everything trying to find out something that can help him feel better. Don’t really know why I am sharing this right now but if you have someone you caring for do it with joy!! Their journey is so hard and they struggle so much to feel better. Give them everything they need. I hope what I said tonight made a little sense. If you happen to be struggling with this illness alone be good to yourself. God is your comfort.

The Beginning- My Journey in Grief

As most of you know my husband passed away July 28. I have been led to post occasional updates to let you know how I’m dealing with this loss. Many times I have various emotions. Sometimes I feel grateful he did not suffer long but at the same time I miss him and his sweet lovely ways. I’ve been praying for wisdom and peace and God has given it to me. I know our relationship was rare and strong also I know it was God’s gift to me. God answered my prayer for a husband. He gave us 14 wonderful years now it’s time for me to move on with the next chapter of my life. I feel everything that happens in our lives happens for a reason. (my husband would always say that ) And many times that reason is to help others.

I had a good week at school. The kids are not as focused as I would like but I pray for them often. Sometimes it is not about the curriculum I am teaching but about understanding they have lots of issues and pains going on. I had a child that was somewhat distracted in my classroom they got really angry when I wanted him to sign the paper that would document his behavior. Normally he is quite quiet and when I took him outside the room I found out that he had been bullied by a boy that was previously his best friend. He was so hurt. He sobbed and sob and I encouraged him and soon he appeared to be better. (this occurred at the end of the day ) The situation had been addressed earlier with the principal but he was still carrying it in his heart. I was lead in my heart after school to contact his parents to let them know. They had no idea and greatly appreciated the fact I let them know. They knew something was wrong when he got home but he would not share with them what happened. I felt used today by God to intervene in the situation where someone was in pain. I encourage you despite the pain you maybe feeling, is there someone around that you could intervene and encourage to help them feel better. I feel this is our purpose in life. Go make someone’s day today!